Talking about Hip Hop music. Honestly man, like just fucking having a conversation about an artist and a particular song or album they had out or some shit. With someone that grew up with and was at the same level as me musically . I’ve only met 1 person I can say I was completely compatible with in that aspect.
I mean yeah you have people you can always talk music with, but finding someone that really pays attention to the veeeery same kinda shit you do, that’s some rare shit. Or maybe it’s just the logistics. I mean on this blog site it’s different, everybody’s music taste is real dope but in the world I live in my music mates seem to be everywhere but here.
Like I’m not tryna explain why I say “cause you never know when you gonna go” when people ask me why I get high, that should just be some no brainer shit. If I randomly asked someone “you on point Phife” they’d look at me like I was crazy. I mean it’s whatever at the end of the day. I guess I’m just feeling a little nostalgic.
To the “nice guys” that I’ve encountered because looking back, they weren’t nice guys to begin with.
“Two nice guys. Two of the ‘nicest’ guys I’ve ever known, both really just hiding behind a mask. They were both pussies. All they ever did was tell me what I wanted to hear, not what I NEEDED to hear. It doesn’t take much to just tell the truth, to be honest..especially to the person they supposedly ‘love.’ They just ended up hurting me. They were my biggest lessons learned. And what is the lesson, you ask? It’s that nice guys aren’t really nice guys. So I prefer real guys. I’m done with nice guys. If ‘nice guys’ complain that they finish last, it’s only because they aren’t nice to begin with. They play these games, and in the end, they just lose. And I don’t blame them. Fuck nice guys, I want genuine guys. If you’re a guy claiming to be a ‘nice guy’ and you whine about girls treating you as nothing more than the ‘bestfriend’ or ‘the guy who will always be there’ then I feel no sympathy for you. Real, genuine guys don’t bitch about that stuff. They just care, and they don’t stop caring, nor ask for anything in return. A toast to the scumbag who cheated on me, lied about it, then came clean only a year later, and a toast to the asshole who chased me only to drop me with no explanation. Thanks for being ‘nice’”
I’m done begging people to stay. I’m tired of letting my fear of abandonment get to me and so the choice is up to you now. If you can’t fucking handle me, if you don’t fucking want to, then don’t. I don’t need people babying me and feeling pity for me. But once you walk out, don’t expect me to get down on my knees and cry you a sob story. I’ve lost enough people to guarantee you that I will be fucking fine if another person leaves. Do me the fucking favor, help me figure out who’s worth it and who’s not by letting me know when you aren’t.
I don’t need a big group of friends. What I need are true friends. Friends that are good for me. Friends that aren’t gonna leave me when times get tough. Friends who love me for who I am and were put into my life through God. My life is in his hands with full faith and trust to know that with his guidance, I’ll overcome any obstacle thrown at me. So try me.
I could’ve sworn I saw you somewhere else before we cordially met… I don’t know, maybe it’ll all click someday.
I feel like I should tell you how I feel about you, but I don’t want any more drama happening. We definitely don’t want or need any more drama than there already is, sheesh. So I guess I should stay quiet. It just sucks because I already regret letting you know about yeah. It isn’t like I lalalove you, it’s just a little crush going on. Haha I dont even know why the eff im blogging about this, but maybe if I didnt mention yeah, things would’ve turned out differently.
I should stop right here before I mention anything that’ll give everything away. Only two people really knows what i’m actually talking about, lol ohp… *kawawa face